Friday, March 12, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Lindsay Lohan is suing eTrade. After you find out why, you'll be even more confused
Two awesome videos:
Today in bullshit news:
Remember that eTrade "milkaholic" Super Bowl ad? Turns out the milk-crazy baby was named Lindsay, and so, eTrade is now being sued for $100 million by Lindsay Lohan. This is a real thing.
Lohan claims she has first name recognition on par with Madonna and Oprah. Remember The Parent Trap? Freaky Friday? Mean Girls? Decent flicks that showcased a budding star's potential. Now she's a complete train wreck. What a jackass.
And finally, here's your perplexing pop-up ad of the day:
Today in bullshit news:
Remember that eTrade "milkaholic" Super Bowl ad? Turns out the milk-crazy baby was named Lindsay, and so, eTrade is now being sued for $100 million by Lindsay Lohan. This is a real thing.
Lohan claims she has first name recognition on par with Madonna and Oprah. Remember The Parent Trap? Freaky Friday? Mean Girls? Decent flicks that showcased a budding star's potential. Now she's a complete train wreck. What a jackass.
And finally, here's your perplexing pop-up ad of the day:
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Best Picture/Director
Note from Luke: This is Bighead's final Oscar Preview post. To read his past entries, check out the links below.
[Top 10 Snubs]
[Supporting Actress]
[Supporting Actor]
[Best Actress]
[Best Actor]
I'm combining the Best Picture and Best Director categories because they happen to fall in the same order. The directors are going to be in parentheses following their respective movies.
Sandra Bullock single handedly carried this movie to the top ten. This feel good summer blockbuster will get more viewers tuning in to the Academy Awards which is the main goal for expanding back to ten nominees. Is it one of the top ten movies of the year? Probably not. However, this is the perfect movie to round off the Best Picture category.
No.
I'm pretty sure the Coen brothers can't miss. Especially with the new format of ten Best Picture nominees, they could make one movie every year and it'd be up for an Oscar. They write, produce and direct every time and they seem to never fail. And although this movie isn't even close to the caliber of say...No Country For Old Men, it's quite enjoyable.
Michael Stuhlbarg plays a Jewish professor in this dark comedy whose life basically gets dumped on over and over again. His wife hates him, his children don't respect him, and his brother (the only constant in his life) is socially awkward and won't leave his house. I know. Sounds hilarious, right?
It's held back by its unknown status and the fact that most people don't especially like dark comedies, but I highly recommend Netflixing it.
People are really stressing the fact that this is only the second animated feature to be nominated for Best Picture and I guess that's an honor, but let me tell you why I have trouble putting Up in the "Best Animated Picture Ever" category.
You can come out of this movie with two different mindsets: I hated it because it was creepy, or I loved it because the creepiness didn't seem as creepy as it should have. If I read the script before I saw the movie I would've freaked out and refused to see it.
Plot: A thirty-something man has sex with a sixteen year old. Oh wait, she made him wait until her seventeenth birthday. So it's totally not creepy.
Carey Mulligan owns the whole time, and Peter Sarsgaard somehow makes his character charming, not creepy. Hard to do in a role like the one he played. The supporting cast does exactly that; they support Mulligan to perfection, and there are two dominant and memorable cameos by Emma Thompson and Sally Hawkins that top off the picture.
This movie give me hope for the film industry. Sometimes movies come along where I think, "is this the best Hollywood has to offer?" When I see a movie being remade for the tenth time or Rocky still fighting while he's in a wheelchair, I tend to get a little upset. Can't somebody on earth be creative? But then this sci-fi thriller comes along and my heart feels good.
Like last year's Best Picture winner, Slumdog Millionaire, right after I watched this movie, I was mad that I wasn't the one who thought of it. If you haven't seen D9 yet (and you don't mind some blood and you can stomach your way through it), watch it now.
(And I'm mad at myself for forgetting Sharlto Copley on my 10 snubs list. I would've loved to see him nominated for Best Actor. He deserves it this year more than Morgan Freeman.
I've heard from a lot of people that Basterds has the best collective acting in the bunch, but it all starts with Tarantino. I wish I could write like he can. He's the best at writing 20 minutes of well-crafted, meaningful dialogue, and then following it up with 3 seconds of mass chaos.
I was hooked on this movie the moment I saw the first trailer. I knew going into it that I was going to see a lot of blood, and that the movie itself was going to feel like Tarantino (ensemble cast, broken up into chapters, strong female lead, etc). It had everything I hoped for, and then some. Listen, I have no sympathy for Nazis. What was shown in that movie was nothing. SPOILER ALERT: How Hitler dies in this movie is not even close to how I wished he died. It was Tarantino saying "Forget facts! I'm making history the way I want to make it!" Awesome.
I think this post might just be my masterpiece.
Both Basterds and the film not to be confused with Pixar's Up had scripts that owned. It'll probably win Best Adapted Screenplay, and this might be my favorite acting cast this year, so it feels strange putting it at number 3 on my list with such qualifications, but I have two very big reasons for it (see number 1 and number 2).
Everybody just fits perfectly into their roles in Up in the Air. George Clooney was at the top of his game and Vera Farmiga's quick wit complemented Anna Kendrick's spastic ways to perfection. Even Herny Rowengartner's mom made a great appearance.
Also, Jason Reitman is officially a director not to mess with. He's here to stay. Thank You For Smoking in 2005, Juno in 2007, Up in the Air in 2009. Very impressive, especially considering the guy's 32 years old. Whatever he makes in 2011, I'm seeing.
The next two movies are the clear front-runners for both of these categories, and although I feel the Best Picture and Best Director winners should always go to the same movie, that doesn't always happen. This is because only directors in the Academy vote for best director and the entire Academy votes on Best Picture. Most years this doesn't matter, but I think this year it will.
Avatar was unlike anything you will ever see. James Cameron created a whole new world. I felt like Jasmine in Aladdin. Awwwwww SNAP. If they made a 24 hour featurette called "The Making of Avatar," I would watch every second...Twice. I think the Na'Vi are a real species. They sure seemed real to me. Unfortunately, if I had the ability to do what Cameron did, there were a couple things in this movie where I went "I would have done that differently." Sigourney Weaver quickly comes to mind.
Between Best Picture and Best Director, Avatar has the best chance to win Best Picture. Regardless, it will most likely clean up at least 5 of its 9 total nominations. Avatar grossed over a billion dollars and changed film making forever, but as far as Oscar is concerned, this is not Cameron's year.
There is nothing wrong with this movie. Let's go through it.
Writing: A+
All movies start with the script. Mark Boal went into Iraq and followed a squad of bomb techs around, so he knows his stuff and it shows. He writes about their job and that's it. As a strong conservative, one of the biggest things I can't stand about movies involving Iraq is the bashing of our government. Boal leaves the politics out of it. Hurt Locker isn't pro-war or anti-war. It simply tells a story. It just happens to be an incredibly powerful story, and one that makes you think once it's over.
Acting: A+
Jeremey Renner gives one of the most memorable performances of the year. Hands down. Anthony Mackie and Brian Geraghty are the everyday soldiers. They are not douchebags like Channing Tatum that because they have huge muscles, that means they belong in a uniform. Wow, do I hate Channing Tatum. Guy Pearce, Ralph Fiennes, David Morse were all flawless (and they're collectively on screen for about 10 minutes).
Directing A++
Everything about this movie is perfect. Choosing a cinematographer whose main background is documentaries so you feel like you're in the action with the soldiers was brilliant. Using real explosives instead of the "Hollywood BALLS OF FIRE" was brilliant. Making the movie independently so you could film it on the border of Iraq instead of somewhere like Morocco was brilliant. Making it independently also means you can choose your actors. A studio would have picked Tom Cruise, Denzel Washington, and Adrien Brody as there three main characters. That wouldn't have worked here, because:
*HUGE SPOILER ALERT*The two most famous people in this movie die two minutes into their scenes. Brilliant. Katheryn Bigelow, thank you for making this masterpiece. Oh, and you are extremely hot for 58.
The winner of the Director's Guild top award has won the Best Director Oscar 55 out of the last 61 years. Lucky for Katheryn Bigelow, she has already won the DGA Award so I think this is hers to lose.
So there we have it. Bigelow and The Hurt Locker are my pick to bring home the Best Picture and Best Director Oscars. The Oscars are tonight. You need to watch them. JUST DO IT. IS IT IN YOU? I'M LOVING IT!
[Top 10 Snubs]
[Supporting Actress]
[Supporting Actor]
[Best Actress]
[Best Actor]
I'm combining the Best Picture and Best Director categories because they happen to fall in the same order. The directors are going to be in parentheses following their respective movies.
10. The Blind Side
Sandra Bullock single handedly carried this movie to the top ten. This feel good summer blockbuster will get more viewers tuning in to the Academy Awards which is the main goal for expanding back to ten nominees. Is it one of the top ten movies of the year? Probably not. However, this is the perfect movie to round off the Best Picture category.
9. Precious (5. Lee Daniels)
No.
8. A Serious Man
I'm pretty sure the Coen brothers can't miss. Especially with the new format of ten Best Picture nominees, they could make one movie every year and it'd be up for an Oscar. They write, produce and direct every time and they seem to never fail. And although this movie isn't even close to the caliber of say...No Country For Old Men, it's quite enjoyable.
Michael Stuhlbarg plays a Jewish professor in this dark comedy whose life basically gets dumped on over and over again. His wife hates him, his children don't respect him, and his brother (the only constant in his life) is socially awkward and won't leave his house. I know. Sounds hilarious, right?
It's held back by its unknown status and the fact that most people don't especially like dark comedies, but I highly recommend Netflixing it.
7. Up
People are really stressing the fact that this is only the second animated feature to be nominated for Best Picture and I guess that's an honor, but let me tell you why I have trouble putting Up in the "Best Animated Picture Ever" category.
- It's not even close to Beauty and the Beast
As some of you may know, Beauty and the Beast was the only animated feature to be nominated for Best Picture and that was when there were only five nominees. It was nominated because it was ahead of its time and it's hard to a.) make a good musical, and b.) make a good animated feature. Beauty and the Beast did both. - It's not even close to WALL-E
WALL-E is the best animated movie ever made. Hands down. And although Up is a masterpiece and Pixar is really learning how to tug at your heart without making it inappropriate for kids, I find it hard to give it the credit that I probably should.
6. An Education
You can come out of this movie with two different mindsets: I hated it because it was creepy, or I loved it because the creepiness didn't seem as creepy as it should have. If I read the script before I saw the movie I would've freaked out and refused to see it.
Plot: A thirty-something man has sex with a sixteen year old. Oh wait, she made him wait until her seventeenth birthday. So it's totally not creepy.
Carey Mulligan owns the whole time, and Peter Sarsgaard somehow makes his character charming, not creepy. Hard to do in a role like the one he played. The supporting cast does exactly that; they support Mulligan to perfection, and there are two dominant and memorable cameos by Emma Thompson and Sally Hawkins that top off the picture.
5. District 9
This movie give me hope for the film industry. Sometimes movies come along where I think, "is this the best Hollywood has to offer?" When I see a movie being remade for the tenth time or Rocky still fighting while he's in a wheelchair, I tend to get a little upset. Can't somebody on earth be creative? But then this sci-fi thriller comes along and my heart feels good.
Like last year's Best Picture winner, Slumdog Millionaire, right after I watched this movie, I was mad that I wasn't the one who thought of it. If you haven't seen D9 yet (and you don't mind some blood and you can stomach your way through it), watch it now.
(And I'm mad at myself for forgetting Sharlto Copley on my 10 snubs list. I would've loved to see him nominated for Best Actor. He deserves it this year more than Morgan Freeman.
4. Inglourious Basterds (4. Quentin Tarantino)
I've heard from a lot of people that Basterds has the best collective acting in the bunch, but it all starts with Tarantino. I wish I could write like he can. He's the best at writing 20 minutes of well-crafted, meaningful dialogue, and then following it up with 3 seconds of mass chaos.
I was hooked on this movie the moment I saw the first trailer. I knew going into it that I was going to see a lot of blood, and that the movie itself was going to feel like Tarantino (ensemble cast, broken up into chapters, strong female lead, etc). It had everything I hoped for, and then some. Listen, I have no sympathy for Nazis. What was shown in that movie was nothing. SPOILER ALERT: How Hitler dies in this movie is not even close to how I wished he died. It was Tarantino saying "Forget facts! I'm making history the way I want to make it!" Awesome.
I think this post might just be my masterpiece.
3. Up In the Air (3. Jason Reitman)
Both Basterds and the film not to be confused with Pixar's Up had scripts that owned. It'll probably win Best Adapted Screenplay, and this might be my favorite acting cast this year, so it feels strange putting it at number 3 on my list with such qualifications, but I have two very big reasons for it (see number 1 and number 2).
Everybody just fits perfectly into their roles in Up in the Air. George Clooney was at the top of his game and Vera Farmiga's quick wit complemented Anna Kendrick's spastic ways to perfection. Even Herny Rowengartner's mom made a great appearance.
Also, Jason Reitman is officially a director not to mess with. He's here to stay. Thank You For Smoking in 2005, Juno in 2007, Up in the Air in 2009. Very impressive, especially considering the guy's 32 years old. Whatever he makes in 2011, I'm seeing.
2. Avatar (2. James Cameron)
The next two movies are the clear front-runners for both of these categories, and although I feel the Best Picture and Best Director winners should always go to the same movie, that doesn't always happen. This is because only directors in the Academy vote for best director and the entire Academy votes on Best Picture. Most years this doesn't matter, but I think this year it will.
Avatar was unlike anything you will ever see. James Cameron created a whole new world. I felt like Jasmine in Aladdin. Awwwwww SNAP. If they made a 24 hour featurette called "The Making of Avatar," I would watch every second...Twice. I think the Na'Vi are a real species. They sure seemed real to me. Unfortunately, if I had the ability to do what Cameron did, there were a couple things in this movie where I went "I would have done that differently." Sigourney Weaver quickly comes to mind.
Between Best Picture and Best Director, Avatar has the best chance to win Best Picture. Regardless, it will most likely clean up at least 5 of its 9 total nominations. Avatar grossed over a billion dollars and changed film making forever, but as far as Oscar is concerned, this is not Cameron's year.
1. The Hurt Locker (1. Kathryn Bigelow)
There is nothing wrong with this movie. Let's go through it.
Writing: A+
All movies start with the script. Mark Boal went into Iraq and followed a squad of bomb techs around, so he knows his stuff and it shows. He writes about their job and that's it. As a strong conservative, one of the biggest things I can't stand about movies involving Iraq is the bashing of our government. Boal leaves the politics out of it. Hurt Locker isn't pro-war or anti-war. It simply tells a story. It just happens to be an incredibly powerful story, and one that makes you think once it's over.
Acting: A+
Jeremey Renner gives one of the most memorable performances of the year. Hands down. Anthony Mackie and Brian Geraghty are the everyday soldiers. They are not douchebags like Channing Tatum that because they have huge muscles, that means they belong in a uniform. Wow, do I hate Channing Tatum. Guy Pearce, Ralph Fiennes, David Morse were all flawless (and they're collectively on screen for about 10 minutes).
Directing A++
Everything about this movie is perfect. Choosing a cinematographer whose main background is documentaries so you feel like you're in the action with the soldiers was brilliant. Using real explosives instead of the "Hollywood BALLS OF FIRE" was brilliant. Making the movie independently so you could film it on the border of Iraq instead of somewhere like Morocco was brilliant. Making it independently also means you can choose your actors. A studio would have picked Tom Cruise, Denzel Washington, and Adrien Brody as there three main characters. That wouldn't have worked here, because:
*HUGE SPOILER ALERT*The two most famous people in this movie die two minutes into their scenes. Brilliant. Katheryn Bigelow, thank you for making this masterpiece. Oh, and you are extremely hot for 58.
The winner of the Director's Guild top award has won the Best Director Oscar 55 out of the last 61 years. Lucky for Katheryn Bigelow, she has already won the DGA Award so I think this is hers to lose.
So there we have it. Bigelow and The Hurt Locker are my pick to bring home the Best Picture and Best Director Oscars. The Oscars are tonight. You need to watch them. JUST DO IT. IS IT IN YOU? I'M LOVING IT!
Friday, March 5, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Best Actor: 2010 Oscar Preview
Note from Luke: This post was written by Bighead, resident film guru at Common Vents. Check out his other Oscar preview posts using the links below.
[Top 10 Snubs]
[Supporting Actress]
[Supporting Actor]
[Best Actress]
I know basically as much information about Nelson Mandela as Chris Rock tells in his jokes, so my knowledge is kind of limited. He spent 27 years in a South African prison. He was beaten, he was tortured, and he got divorced from his wife after six months. That's basically all I knew before seeing Invictus.
But here's the problem. Biopics need to give their subject material at least a few decades before a movie can be made about them. Let's look at some recent successful biopics. Both Walk the Line and Ray had subject material from the 1950s. Milk's plot unwound in the 1970s. The events depicted in Invictus took place in the early and mid 1990s. That's not nearly enough time between actual events and theatrical events. Strike 1.
The whole point of finding actors to play bio roles is that the actual people (Johnny Cash, Ray Charles, Harvey Milk) are either dead or too old to play the part. But Freeman played Nelson Mandela in Invictus while the actual Nelson Mandela could have easily played the same role. That takes away from Freeman's credibility right off the bat. Strike 2.
Also, Morgan Freeman IS Ellis Redding. All of his other characters are wannabes. So, hearing Morgan Freeman do a perfectly respectable Mandela impression was not enjoyable. During the whole movie I was saying to myself, "why is Red talking all funny?" Strike 3.
It seems like a great idea to cast one of the best actors of this generation as one of the most famous political leaders of our time, but that's exactly what takes away from the performance.
I didn't get A Single Man. What I mean by that is I don't understand the accolades it's getting.
The movie is about a man struggling to keep living life and find meaning in it after the death of his longtime partner. If you were bored by that sentence, you're going to be bored by the movie. It's a 90 minute long snoozefest.
Still, Firth performed well. In particular, two scenes in the film were fantastic, which was enough to elevate Firth over Morgan Freeman in my book.
Wow, I'm boring myself by writing this. Let's move on.
Most people will be mad at me for putting Bridges in the middle of the pack.
He'll most likely win come March 7th and I have no problem with that. It will be nice to finally not have to mention the words "The Dude" and "underrated" in the same sentence. He was fantastic in Crazy Heart. He sang and played guitar like he was a veteran musician. His chemistry with Maggie Gyllenhaal was phenomenal. Still, if I had a vote for Best Actor, Bridges wouldn't get it. Here's why.
I went into Crazy Heart with very high expectations, and when the movie itself didn't fully live up to those expectations, his spot on my list fell. I know my judgment of an individual's performance shouldn't be linked to how much I liked the movie, or what I intially expected, but I can't help it. Sometimes I do that.
It's like having a bologna sandwich for dinner, only it has a juicy piece of steak in the center. That one bite of steak should be delicious, but it's not, because it's surrounded by the bologna sandwich. And I'm not saying Crazy Heart is a bologna sandwich to Jeff Bridges' steak (Crazy Heart is actually a good movie), but you get what I'm saying.
If you haven't seen The Hurt Locker, stop everything you're doing and see it right now. If you have seen it, you know that the movie kicks ass and Jeremy Renner kicks ass in it. If you don't agree with me, you're wrong. That's right, your opinion is wrong. I'm watching it again right now. It's probably my 25th time watching it. It's that good.
There was a point in the movie where I kind of thought that Jeremy Renner was not an actor, but an actual bomb technician in Iraq. You believe he knows what he's doing. You believe he needs war just as much as war needs him. You believe that even though some of his tactics are not "by the book," he cares about his men. Before this movie, I knew Jeremy Renner as the bad guy in S.W.A.T and that's about it. Something tells me I won't be forgetting his name any time soon.
I'm assuming all of you were up at 7:30 on February 2nd watching Anne Hathaway announce the nominations. I mean, why wouldn't you be?? And if you were lucky enough to be watching the Today Show, Jeremy Renner's reaction was priceless. He was so happy that his performance got recognized. It was impossible not to be anything but happy for him. When I saw his reaction, I smiled, laughed and clapped for him. And I was by myself, literally cheering for no one to hear. I'm pretty cool.
I just tracked down that video. Enjoy.
I had Jeremy Renner in the #1 spot about 10 minutes ago. Let's just call this position 1-A.
In the first half of the movie, Clooney plays a witty, smooth talking playboy who only cares about numero uno. Then his character completely changes, and he pulls off both sides to perfection. And there are very few actors that can pull off a comedic character in a drama as well as Clooney can. However, some may view this performance as effortless, which hurts Clooney's overall chances to bring home Oscar.
I really, really wish that he didn't win the Best Supporting Oscar four years ago for Syriana. I'm convinced that if he didn't, he would be winning this year.
That may sound confusing. Clooney isn't winning this year? Isn't he in my #1 spot? Yes, but my rankings go by who deserves it most, not who's going to win. I'm fairly certain Jeff Bridges is taking home Best Actor this year.
It breaks my heart a little when somebody wins an Oscar for a piece of work that isn't their best. Seriously, I cry. A lot. When Martin Scorsese finally won for The Departed in 2007, it was great that he finally won, but it's probably his third or fourth best film. Very bittersweet. That's how I feel about Clooney's performance in Up In the Air. I'm pretty sure he gave a career performance, but he'll win Best Actor for a future role that's not nearly as memorable as this one.
The Oscars are March 7th, THIS SUNDAY! Until then read my other previews, and look for the Best Picture preview tomorrow.
[Top 10 Snubs]
[Supporting Actress]
[Supporting Actor]
[Best Actress]
5. Morgan Freeman - Invictus
I know basically as much information about Nelson Mandela as Chris Rock tells in his jokes, so my knowledge is kind of limited. He spent 27 years in a South African prison. He was beaten, he was tortured, and he got divorced from his wife after six months. That's basically all I knew before seeing Invictus.
But here's the problem. Biopics need to give their subject material at least a few decades before a movie can be made about them. Let's look at some recent successful biopics. Both Walk the Line and Ray had subject material from the 1950s. Milk's plot unwound in the 1970s. The events depicted in Invictus took place in the early and mid 1990s. That's not nearly enough time between actual events and theatrical events. Strike 1.
The whole point of finding actors to play bio roles is that the actual people (Johnny Cash, Ray Charles, Harvey Milk) are either dead or too old to play the part. But Freeman played Nelson Mandela in Invictus while the actual Nelson Mandela could have easily played the same role. That takes away from Freeman's credibility right off the bat. Strike 2.
Also, Morgan Freeman IS Ellis Redding. All of his other characters are wannabes. So, hearing Morgan Freeman do a perfectly respectable Mandela impression was not enjoyable. During the whole movie I was saying to myself, "why is Red talking all funny?" Strike 3.
It seems like a great idea to cast one of the best actors of this generation as one of the most famous political leaders of our time, but that's exactly what takes away from the performance.
4. Colin Firth - A Single Man
I didn't get A Single Man. What I mean by that is I don't understand the accolades it's getting.
The movie is about a man struggling to keep living life and find meaning in it after the death of his longtime partner. If you were bored by that sentence, you're going to be bored by the movie. It's a 90 minute long snoozefest.
Still, Firth performed well. In particular, two scenes in the film were fantastic, which was enough to elevate Firth over Morgan Freeman in my book.
Wow, I'm boring myself by writing this. Let's move on.
3. Jeff Bridges - Crazy Heart
Most people will be mad at me for putting Bridges in the middle of the pack.
He'll most likely win come March 7th and I have no problem with that. It will be nice to finally not have to mention the words "The Dude" and "underrated" in the same sentence. He was fantastic in Crazy Heart. He sang and played guitar like he was a veteran musician. His chemistry with Maggie Gyllenhaal was phenomenal. Still, if I had a vote for Best Actor, Bridges wouldn't get it. Here's why.
I went into Crazy Heart with very high expectations, and when the movie itself didn't fully live up to those expectations, his spot on my list fell. I know my judgment of an individual's performance shouldn't be linked to how much I liked the movie, or what I intially expected, but I can't help it. Sometimes I do that.
It's like having a bologna sandwich for dinner, only it has a juicy piece of steak in the center. That one bite of steak should be delicious, but it's not, because it's surrounded by the bologna sandwich. And I'm not saying Crazy Heart is a bologna sandwich to Jeff Bridges' steak (Crazy Heart is actually a good movie), but you get what I'm saying.
2. Jeremy Renner - The Hurt Locker
If you haven't seen The Hurt Locker, stop everything you're doing and see it right now. If you have seen it, you know that the movie kicks ass and Jeremy Renner kicks ass in it. If you don't agree with me, you're wrong. That's right, your opinion is wrong. I'm watching it again right now. It's probably my 25th time watching it. It's that good.
There was a point in the movie where I kind of thought that Jeremy Renner was not an actor, but an actual bomb technician in Iraq. You believe he knows what he's doing. You believe he needs war just as much as war needs him. You believe that even though some of his tactics are not "by the book," he cares about his men. Before this movie, I knew Jeremy Renner as the bad guy in S.W.A.T and that's about it. Something tells me I won't be forgetting his name any time soon.
I'm assuming all of you were up at 7:30 on February 2nd watching Anne Hathaway announce the nominations. I mean, why wouldn't you be?? And if you were lucky enough to be watching the Today Show, Jeremy Renner's reaction was priceless. He was so happy that his performance got recognized. It was impossible not to be anything but happy for him. When I saw his reaction, I smiled, laughed and clapped for him. And I was by myself, literally cheering for no one to hear. I'm pretty cool.
I just tracked down that video. Enjoy.
I had Jeremy Renner in the #1 spot about 10 minutes ago. Let's just call this position 1-A.
1. George Clooney - Up In the Air
In the first half of the movie, Clooney plays a witty, smooth talking playboy who only cares about numero uno. Then his character completely changes, and he pulls off both sides to perfection. And there are very few actors that can pull off a comedic character in a drama as well as Clooney can. However, some may view this performance as effortless, which hurts Clooney's overall chances to bring home Oscar.
I really, really wish that he didn't win the Best Supporting Oscar four years ago for Syriana. I'm convinced that if he didn't, he would be winning this year.
That may sound confusing. Clooney isn't winning this year? Isn't he in my #1 spot? Yes, but my rankings go by who deserves it most, not who's going to win. I'm fairly certain Jeff Bridges is taking home Best Actor this year.
It breaks my heart a little when somebody wins an Oscar for a piece of work that isn't their best. Seriously, I cry. A lot. When Martin Scorsese finally won for The Departed in 2007, it was great that he finally won, but it's probably his third or fourth best film. Very bittersweet. That's how I feel about Clooney's performance in Up In the Air. I'm pretty sure he gave a career performance, but he'll win Best Actor for a future role that's not nearly as memorable as this one.
The Oscars are March 7th, THIS SUNDAY! Until then read my other previews, and look for the Best Picture preview tomorrow.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Creeps, Casimir Pulaski and Controversial Islam Leaders
Happy Monday, everyone. To all my unemployed peeps, you have the greatest life ever. Enjoy it while you can. Let's get right to the random.
#1: The Drive-By Creep
The Jess and I did some errand-running on Saturday. After dropping off a package at FedEx, we were walking back to the car when a guy drove past us, spotted The Jess and held his glance for a good three seconds as he drove by. Now, I can completely understand this. The Jess is a good-looking lady. And to all you feminists: Yes, this could very well be objectification at its finest and downright creepy as well, but from a guy's perspective, this behavior is understandable. So I'm not going to knock this mystery creep's behavior. I will, however, knock his technique.
#2: The Greatest Pole
The first Monday every March marks Casimir Pulaski Day. We all know about his heroics in the American Revolution, but the real question is still unanswered: WHERE IS PULASKI BURIED?
According to several witnesses, Pulaski was buried at sea. *WARNING* POLISH JOKE IMMINENT.
Three men drowned digging his grave. Ohhhhhhhh SNAP!
But a grave site was recently examined on a Savannah plantation, where it was alleged Pulaski was buried. Then, after an EIGHT YEAR INVESTIGATION, the results were inconclusive.
Gah! Eight years of looking at a corpse and you still can't tell who it is? Who was running that operation? He spent two presidential terms examining a corpse, and because of that, he gets to answer the question "Was that really Pulaski?" with a resounding "DURRRRRR, I dunno!" What a waste of time.
That'd be the worst episode of Bones EVER.
#3: Farrakhan and Flying Saucers
Nation of Islam leader Minister Louis Farrakhan predicted yesterday that America will face its own imminent disaster and must prepare. This prediction comes on the heels of the Haiti and Chile earthquakes.
Farrakhan has been called a racist and anti-Semitic more than once. I don't know about all that. However, I'm fairly certain that using a premonition about an ascension into a flying saucer to predict future events is slightly iffy.
From Chicago Breaking News:
"Farrakhan described a spiritual experience in 1981 in which he ascended into a flying saucer and heard the voice of Elijah Muhammad predicting historical events that did come to pass."
This is how I imagine things playing out:
#1: The Drive-By CreepThe Jess and I did some errand-running on Saturday. After dropping off a package at FedEx, we were walking back to the car when a guy drove past us, spotted The Jess and held his glance for a good three seconds as he drove by. Now, I can completely understand this. The Jess is a good-looking lady. And to all you feminists: Yes, this could very well be objectification at its finest and downright creepy as well, but from a guy's perspective, this behavior is understandable. So I'm not going to knock this mystery creep's behavior. I will, however, knock his technique.
Dear Idiot who creeped on The Jess,
You were wearing dark sunglasses on Saturday. It might have been the most overcast day in the history of everything. You obviously didn't need sunglasses to ensure you drove safely. Thus, I must conclude that you were wearing dark sunglasses because of the other benefit: Creeping on chicks.
Good work, Dr. Douche! You've realized that you're able to creep on women without them knowing thanks to the glance-clouding power of your knockoff Oakleys. One thing you forgot, though: In order to keep a low profile, it's important that you DON'T TURN YOUR HEAD. I mean, shit. Your double take was so emphatic I'm surprised you didn't give yourself whiplash.
So, to you and all other wannabe sunglasses creepers: Only move the direction of your glance when you creep. Do not turn your head or you will be busted.
#2: The Greatest Pole
The first Monday every March marks Casimir Pulaski Day. We all know about his heroics in the American Revolution, but the real question is still unanswered: WHERE IS PULASKI BURIED?
According to several witnesses, Pulaski was buried at sea. *WARNING* POLISH JOKE IMMINENT.
Three men drowned digging his grave. Ohhhhhhhh SNAP!
But a grave site was recently examined on a Savannah plantation, where it was alleged Pulaski was buried. Then, after an EIGHT YEAR INVESTIGATION, the results were inconclusive.
Gah! Eight years of looking at a corpse and you still can't tell who it is? Who was running that operation? He spent two presidential terms examining a corpse, and because of that, he gets to answer the question "Was that really Pulaski?" with a resounding "DURRRRRR, I dunno!" What a waste of time.
That'd be the worst episode of Bones EVER.
#3: Farrakhan and Flying Saucers
Nation of Islam leader Minister Louis Farrakhan predicted yesterday that America will face its own imminent disaster and must prepare. This prediction comes on the heels of the Haiti and Chile earthquakes.
Farrakhan has been called a racist and anti-Semitic more than once. I don't know about all that. However, I'm fairly certain that using a premonition about an ascension into a flying saucer to predict future events is slightly iffy.
From Chicago Breaking News:
"Farrakhan described a spiritual experience in 1981 in which he ascended into a flying saucer and heard the voice of Elijah Muhammad predicting historical events that did come to pass."
This is how I imagine things playing out:
FARRAKHAN: I had a vision aboard a flying object in the sky! I now know that bad things will happen! And also good things! Basically, big events will sometimes occur!
Berlin Wall falls
FARRAKHAN: I totally called it!
Monday, February 22, 2010
The Coolest Pucking Blog Post Ever *UPDATE*
Someone needs to run out to CVS and get me some ice, because I've got the hockey fever. Last weekend, a bunch of Crystal Lake peeps drove out to the Des Moines area to visit Daniel, Son of Bardin. There were many highlights in the all-too-short weekend, and one of them was when four of us played NHL 10 online against pretenders. As if that dynamite video game weren't enough, last night Team USA gave the heavily favored Canadians a 5-3 glass bottom boat ride. Given the recent run of great hockey, both real and digital, it's safe to say that I'm currently loving hockey more than any other sport.
So to mark the occasion, here are a few videos that make you wish you knew how to fire a slapshot or check someone into the boards. Or at the very least, how to ice skate without wiping out.
These are all incredible plays, but I think my favorite might be #4. In his three seasons with the New York Rangers, Marek Malik scored 6 goals. Total. Yet he pulled out that unreal move for a shootout goal and even made the water bottle atop the net dance a little jig. Where in the world did that come from?
Scott Stevens is on here a number of times. You just did not put your head down when he was on the ice. I remember watching his hit on Paul Kariya (the #2 hit in the video) live with my brother. There's a part that this video doesn't show that I've always remembered.
Kariya was knocked unconscious for a few seconds. After the hit and before the trainers got to him, the camera zoomed in on his face. Eyes closed, body not moving. Kariya looked like he was dead. Suddenly, his eyes shot open and he gasped so hard that it fogged up his visor. Then he got up, brushed himself off and kept playing. Hockey players are badasses.
And to cap off the best pucking blog post of all time, here's the great Randy Moller, play-by-play guy for the Florida Panthers. Get ready for the best goal calls you'll ever hear.
*UPDATE* Here's the extended video of that Stevens hit on Kariya. You can see him wake from unconsciousness, come back from the locker room and light the lamp with a screaming slapper later in the game. Paul Kariya is a man. Thanks to Bighead for finding the video.
Friday, February 19, 2010
My Favorite Live Music Video Ever
Because NBC is a bunch of jags with its SNL content, hurry up and watch this video before it gets taken down. Rolling Stone editor David Fricke admitted he screwed up when he excluded Pearl Jam guitarists Mike McCready and Stone Gossard from the magazine's Top 100 Guitarists of All Time list. This video shows you why.
Pearl Jam - Alive @ SNL
Uploaded by Olpio. - Watch more music videos, in HD!
Ho-lee Shnikes. I've seen this video close to a hundred times and I still can't get enough. This is Pearl Jam in the early 90s, rocking harder than any other performer that I've seen on SNL. Thoughts:
Are there any bands out there that have emerged in the last 5 years that can rock like this? If so, please post their name in the comments section. I'd love to hear them. I missed out on the grunge era as it was happening and I've been trying to make up for that fact for a while now. You see, Pearl Jam exploded at roughly the same time the Bulls' dynasty did, but I was 8 years old and sweatpants-clad, oblivious to the history being made around me. CRIMINY!!
Pearl Jam - Alive @ SNL
Uploaded by Olpio. - Watch more music videos, in HD!
Ho-lee Shnikes. I've seen this video close to a hundred times and I still can't get enough. This is Pearl Jam in the early 90s, rocking harder than any other performer that I've seen on SNL. Thoughts:
- The SNL crowd is beyond stoked to hear these guys. The host (is that Sharon Stone?) can barely introduce the band with all the screaming.
- Eddie Vedder's voice is lights out. It sounds just like it does on Ten, the album Alive is on. Almost 20 years later, playing 3 hour show after 3 hour show, Vedder is still singing. Unreal. My voice would be destroyed at that point.
- Stone Gossard's guitar intro to Alive is legendary. Nuff said.
- Jeff Ament and the drummer (I think it's Dave Abbruzzese but I'm not sure) have a solid rapport going throughout the performance. The bass player and the drummer hold the rhythm and you can tell they were on the same page.
- Up until the 3:30 mark, the guitarist on the left, Mike McCready, just kind of hangs out, making you wonder if his axe is even plugged in or if he's there just for show. Then his solo starts. And holy shit, ladies. This is how you play rock guitar. Some guys can fly along the fret board, others can really make their guitar sing with a beautiful solo that still fits the foundation of the song, but not very many can do both. Mike McCready can do both. Whenever I watch this video, I have to rewind to the start of the solo at least once. It's perfect.
Are there any bands out there that have emerged in the last 5 years that can rock like this? If so, please post their name in the comments section. I'd love to hear them. I missed out on the grunge era as it was happening and I've been trying to make up for that fact for a while now. You see, Pearl Jam exploded at roughly the same time the Bulls' dynasty did, but I was 8 years old and sweatpants-clad, oblivious to the history being made around me. CRIMINY!!
Best Actress: 2010 Oscar Preview
Note from Luke: This post was written by Bighead, resident film guru at Common Vents. Check out his other Oscar preview posts using the links below.
[Top 10 Snubs]
[Supporting Actress]
[Supporting Actor]
As I've mentioned before, everybody is loving Precious except for me so this nomination was pretty much guaranteed for Gabourey Sidibe. (SPOILER ALERT) She plays the overweight, illiterate teen who is pregnant with her father's second child and the punchline of the movie is that she has AIDS. I don't know what a good performance is in that type of plot line.
Did I feel bad for her? Yes. Was it difficult to watch? Yes. Did I like it when people such as her teacher were actually nice to her? Of course. But I'm pretty sure I would have felt the same way if a broom played the part. I'm not saying that because Sidibe is a horrible actress. She's not. But the content just made her performance seem secondary.
Personally, I wouldn't have given her the nod for Best Actress, but her road to the Oscars has been a nice story and I hope she has a blast on the red carpet. But that's likely the most she's going to get.
The Last Station was the movie I knew the least about going into the Oscar buzz, but I really enjoyed the film. One of the main reasons was Helen Mirren.
She plays Sofya Tolstoy, the wife of War and Peace author Leo Tolstoy (Christopher Plummer, nominated for Best Supporting Actor) and complements his mundane approach to perfection. Somehow she was able hate him more than anything in her life while still being completely in love with him.
This is Mirren's fourth nomination (she won the Best Actress Oscar three years ago for The Queen), so obviously, she can act. But Best Actress is probably the most competitive acting category this year so she's won't be a two-time winner in 2010. She was great in The Last Station, but this year there's a better British performance and also a better veteran actress performance, so Helen is out.
Side note: She's really hot for 64.
The next three names on my list have been swapped back and forth so many times that I've lost count. I had Carey Mulligan bringing home Oscar the entire week before I wrote this, and I'm glad she's getting all of the recognition, but I'm sad to say I copped out by playing the "she'll get her chance later in life" card. I'm mad at myself. But if I had to pick one person that I would most enjoy seeing Oscar with when the night is over, it'd be her.
Shia LaBeouf is a lucky man. I'm pretty sure if any British woman showed any interest in me whatsoever, I'd marry her on the spot. I just get mesmerized for some reason. I may need professional help to stop this feeling. I'll run down the list of British women who could have complete control over me if they wanted:
Mulligan is one of the hot new things in Hollywood and her performance in An Education has been getting very worthy hype since it premiered at the Sundance Film Festival in Utah last year. And although she was indeed amazing in it, any awards she is given should have an "Assisted by Peter Sarsgaard" sign on it. To see why, keep your eyes peeled for my Best Picture preview.
Julie & Julia was boring, predictable and altogether stupid...and then Meryl Streep came on screen. She's the best.
The memories I have of Julia Child are watching her on TV and barely moving while I stayed home sick from elementary school. She would kind of just stand there and make comments while some more mobile cook actually did the work. However, that was her in the later part of her life so let's just say I was pleasantly surprised at Streep's energy and charisma while she cooked, ate, and talked... and talked...and talked. When she and Stanley Tucci were on screen I had a smile on my face that wouldn't go away. Even though she may very well walk away with her third Oscar, I copped out again by playing the "she's had her statue. give it to somebody else" card. I'm mad at myself again.
FUN FACT ALERT: This is Meryl Streep's 16th Oscar nomination. Let me put this accomplishment in perspective for you. Including their nominations for this year, the nine other women nominated for Oscars in 2010 (Best Supporting Actress, Best Actress) have 14 combined career nominations, which happens to be TWO LESS THAN MERYL STREEP. Between nine people. Three of the best male actors of all time, Tom Hanks, Denzel Washington and Robert DeNiro, have 16 combined nominations, tying Meryl. Oh, and this is her third nomination in the last four years, so she's not really showing signs of slowing down. She's pretty good at what she does. And because she's really down to earth and totally badass, she'd be the first to say that she also has the most losses in history.
Watch Streep in Doubt (in which she got a nomination for last year) and then watch her in Julie & Julia and see the very noticeable range she has.
I really want the Oscar and Razzie for Best/Worst Actress to go to the same person this year. Sandra is nominated for each.
The Blind Side by Michael Lewis was a book that had Michael Oher as its protagonist. I don't know if the movie script was originally written as it turned out on screen, but the film did not center on Michael Oher. It was about Leigh Anne Tuohy saving Michael Oher, and Sandra Bullock owned the screen the whole time. Something that I initially figured would be, at best, a nice, feel-good summer movie now has its lead actress as the front-runner for this year's Oscars.
Bullock and Streep have swapped every award this year (they even tied at the Critics' Choice Awards with a very memorable lip lock to seal the deal) and this one is still up in the air. I'm just picturing most Academy members who are on the fence saying "Meryl Streep has two Oscars. She gets nominated every year so we'll probably give her another chance next year anyway. She doesn't need it. Sandra Bullock may never be nominated again." So my guess is that we'll hear: "And the Oscar goes too...Sandra Bullock!"
She is known for making C-minus romantic comedies, so to see her take control and capture a real life character so well was a breath of fresh air, and she deserves the Oscar for her surprising, uplifting performance.
The Oscars are March 7th, but until then, watch for more of my previews. Peace.
[Top 10 Snubs]
[Supporting Actress]
[Supporting Actor]
5. Gabourey Sidibe - Precious
As I've mentioned before, everybody is loving Precious except for me so this nomination was pretty much guaranteed for Gabourey Sidibe. (SPOILER ALERT) She plays the overweight, illiterate teen who is pregnant with her father's second child and the punchline of the movie is that she has AIDS. I don't know what a good performance is in that type of plot line.
Did I feel bad for her? Yes. Was it difficult to watch? Yes. Did I like it when people such as her teacher were actually nice to her? Of course. But I'm pretty sure I would have felt the same way if a broom played the part. I'm not saying that because Sidibe is a horrible actress. She's not. But the content just made her performance seem secondary.
Personally, I wouldn't have given her the nod for Best Actress, but her road to the Oscars has been a nice story and I hope she has a blast on the red carpet. But that's likely the most she's going to get.
4. Helen Mirren - The Last Station
The Last Station was the movie I knew the least about going into the Oscar buzz, but I really enjoyed the film. One of the main reasons was Helen Mirren.
She plays Sofya Tolstoy, the wife of War and Peace author Leo Tolstoy (Christopher Plummer, nominated for Best Supporting Actor) and complements his mundane approach to perfection. Somehow she was able hate him more than anything in her life while still being completely in love with him.
This is Mirren's fourth nomination (she won the Best Actress Oscar three years ago for The Queen), so obviously, she can act. But Best Actress is probably the most competitive acting category this year so she's won't be a two-time winner in 2010. She was great in The Last Station, but this year there's a better British performance and also a better veteran actress performance, so Helen is out.
Side note: She's really hot for 64.
3. Carey Mulligan - An Education
The next three names on my list have been swapped back and forth so many times that I've lost count. I had Carey Mulligan bringing home Oscar the entire week before I wrote this, and I'm glad she's getting all of the recognition, but I'm sad to say I copped out by playing the "she'll get her chance later in life" card. I'm mad at myself. But if I had to pick one person that I would most enjoy seeing Oscar with when the night is over, it'd be her.
Shia LaBeouf is a lucky man. I'm pretty sure if any British woman showed any interest in me whatsoever, I'd marry her on the spot. I just get mesmerized for some reason. I may need professional help to stop this feeling. I'll run down the list of British women who could have complete control over me if they wanted:
- Carey Mulligan
- Rachel Weisz
- Kristin Scott Thomas
- Kate Beckinsale
- Emily Blunt
- Kate Winslet
- Helena Bonham Carter
Mulligan is one of the hot new things in Hollywood and her performance in An Education has been getting very worthy hype since it premiered at the Sundance Film Festival in Utah last year. And although she was indeed amazing in it, any awards she is given should have an "Assisted by Peter Sarsgaard" sign on it. To see why, keep your eyes peeled for my Best Picture preview.
2. Meryl Streep - Julie & Julia
Julie & Julia was boring, predictable and altogether stupid...and then Meryl Streep came on screen. She's the best.
The memories I have of Julia Child are watching her on TV and barely moving while I stayed home sick from elementary school. She would kind of just stand there and make comments while some more mobile cook actually did the work. However, that was her in the later part of her life so let's just say I was pleasantly surprised at Streep's energy and charisma while she cooked, ate, and talked... and talked...and talked. When she and Stanley Tucci were on screen I had a smile on my face that wouldn't go away. Even though she may very well walk away with her third Oscar, I copped out again by playing the "she's had her statue. give it to somebody else" card. I'm mad at myself again.
FUN FACT ALERT: This is Meryl Streep's 16th Oscar nomination. Let me put this accomplishment in perspective for you. Including their nominations for this year, the nine other women nominated for Oscars in 2010 (Best Supporting Actress, Best Actress) have 14 combined career nominations, which happens to be TWO LESS THAN MERYL STREEP. Between nine people. Three of the best male actors of all time, Tom Hanks, Denzel Washington and Robert DeNiro, have 16 combined nominations, tying Meryl. Oh, and this is her third nomination in the last four years, so she's not really showing signs of slowing down. She's pretty good at what she does. And because she's really down to earth and totally badass, she'd be the first to say that she also has the most losses in history.
Watch Streep in Doubt (in which she got a nomination for last year) and then watch her in Julie & Julia and see the very noticeable range she has.
1. Sandra Bullock - The Blind Side
I really want the Oscar and Razzie for Best/Worst Actress to go to the same person this year. Sandra is nominated for each.
The Blind Side by Michael Lewis was a book that had Michael Oher as its protagonist. I don't know if the movie script was originally written as it turned out on screen, but the film did not center on Michael Oher. It was about Leigh Anne Tuohy saving Michael Oher, and Sandra Bullock owned the screen the whole time. Something that I initially figured would be, at best, a nice, feel-good summer movie now has its lead actress as the front-runner for this year's Oscars.
Bullock and Streep have swapped every award this year (they even tied at the Critics' Choice Awards with a very memorable lip lock to seal the deal) and this one is still up in the air. I'm just picturing most Academy members who are on the fence saying "Meryl Streep has two Oscars. She gets nominated every year so we'll probably give her another chance next year anyway. She doesn't need it. Sandra Bullock may never be nominated again." So my guess is that we'll hear: "And the Oscar goes too...Sandra Bullock!"
She is known for making C-minus romantic comedies, so to see her take control and capture a real life character so well was a breath of fresh air, and she deserves the Oscar for her surprising, uplifting performance.
The Oscars are March 7th, but until then, watch for more of my previews. Peace.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
3 Things To Get You Through Hump Day
I got just five hours of sleep last night thanks to an super-intense Modern Warfare 2 sesh with Chrome-Dog. He actually came over to the apartment to play. How did The Jess react, you ask? Well, she made barbeque chicken wings and sweet potato fries and only made fun of us once the entire night, when we were having an active debate regarding whether to equip our ACR with FMJ or a grenade launcher. And trust me, things were WAY nerdier than that at times. Excellent restraint by The Jess.
On top of that, she knew I didn't get much sleep last night, so waiting for me when I got to work was an email from her with an array of content like lolcats, a picture of a monkey dressed as a cowboy while riding a dog, and an assortment of Arrested Development and 30 Rock quotes. A lot of people know me pretty well, but no one knows me like my Jess.
So to pay it forward, here are some things to help get you through your hump day.
First, thanks to @acegrl for introducing me to KYM.
This is my new favorite site, and it's absolutely insane how much fun you can have on here. Before I go into it any further, here's a lesson: the word 'meme' rhymes with 'cream.' Do not pronounce it 'may-may' or 'me-me,' or else you'll sound like a big, fat reed. I may or may not have thought it was pronounced may-may before I googled it. Don't make the same mistake.
KYM says its goal is "Documenting Internet phenomena: viral videos, image macros, catchphrases, web celebs and more." It tracks the origin and eventual explosion of these Internet phenomena, and also provides examples, typically submitted by readers. Some of my favorite memes:
On top of that, she knew I didn't get much sleep last night, so waiting for me when I got to work was an email from her with an array of content like lolcats, a picture of a monkey dressed as a cowboy while riding a dog, and an assortment of Arrested Development and 30 Rock quotes. A lot of people know me pretty well, but no one knows me like my Jess.
So to pay it forward, here are some things to help get you through your hump day.
1. Know Your Meme
First, thanks to @acegrl for introducing me to KYM.
This is my new favorite site, and it's absolutely insane how much fun you can have on here. Before I go into it any further, here's a lesson: the word 'meme' rhymes with 'cream.' Do not pronounce it 'may-may' or 'me-me,' or else you'll sound like a big, fat reed. I may or may not have thought it was pronounced may-may before I googled it. Don't make the same mistake.
KYM says its goal is "Documenting Internet phenomena: viral videos, image macros, catchphrases, web celebs and more." It tracks the origin and eventual explosion of these Internet phenomena, and also provides examples, typically submitted by readers. Some of my favorite memes:
- Nic Cage as Everyone: Takes the actor's face and throws it on pictures, like the one above. That Nic Cage photo also fits the "Argument is Invalid" meme.
- Ramirez! Do Everything! My personal favorite meme so far thanks to my MW2 addiction. During the game's Campaign mode, Sergeant Foley routinely yells at Ramirez to perform various tasks to complete missions. Foley never calls out anyone but Ramirez. Thus, 'Ramirez! Do Everything!' was born. My personal favorite variations include 'Ramirez! Throw Your Knife at the AC130!' 'Ramirez! Divide By Zero!' and 'Ramirez! Help Me Beat New Super Mario Bros Wii! It's Too Hard!'
- Crasher Squirrel: A fuzzy little guy who can't help being a dick by ruining photos.
- Sewer Horse: He's always watching.
- Grammar Nazi: Here's the one that fits me the best. Whenever someone has a typo in their text, I feel compelled to point it out. Ironically, the people correcting idiots and their horrendous grammar are usually the ones who are ostracized by the rest of the group. But as the chart below shows, the Internet community generally likes bringing up Nazis to try to put an end to a lengthy online discussion, be they Grammar, White Supremacist, or Soup.
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